The Pulling Back Time

Lancaster County has been under stay-at-home orders (house arrest) since March 27, 2020 due to the COVID-19 Pandemic. I see on social media that this situation has not been easy for many of us; and some days, I struggle too.

I think back to my time in Embudo, NM – a town in between Taos and Santa Fe (a.k.a., the middle of nowhere), where I knew no one and had very few resources nearby other than the local Walmart. It was a far cry from the East Coast where I could get anything I wanted at any hour of the day, all just a short drive away. And now this. It feels a little too familiar! Life is funny.

I am trying to figure out why I chose to incarnate at this “unprecedented time” in our human history. And so I have chosen to pull back – way far back – to reflect and hopefully come out of this a better person than I was before. I chose to quit teaching or offering any kind of healing sessions at this time, even though theoretically I could be doing these things online. I quit worrying about helping my partner take his farm to the next level. I even chose to quit some of my ‘friends’ that were clearly not enriching my life.

And so here I am. Just me, myself, and my own mind… again.

For me, I am choosing this time to grow. With my partner’s help and mirroring, I am working to rout out more of my unhelpful tendencies in relationship, peeling off even more layers of childhood trauma, and ways of being that no longer serve me. I have started to write ‘my story’ so I can go more deeply into the shadows that shaped me and bring light to these dark areas of my soul.

I see this phenomenon happening to all of us, as a country, as a human race. We are being forced to look at what’s not working, old ways of being that no longer serve the collective. No way to hide them now.

I am diving into an “Art & Spirituality” course that I’ve been putting off for nearly a year now. And I am also planning to compile an e-book with Art & Yoga class curriculums for other yoga teachers. As I write all of this, I realize I better get busy! lol

I hope that after this forced isolation, I can shine more brightly in the world and continue to do the work I was sent here to do. I hope that for all of us.