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Past Lives & Cellular Memory

I’ve been sleeping on a mat in the barn the last couple of nights and, physically, I am feeling better than I have in months. It reminds me of dreams and visions of other lives I lived here on this planet. Does my body remember how ‘things used to be’ and crave those days of austerities: living simply, not eating much, etc.? And when I don’t live this way, I literally become sick from too much food, too much comfort, too much sitting, too much sleep. JUST.TOO.MUCH. It seems I may not be alone in this either. 1

. . .

Flashback to February 2010

One night during the yoga teacher training course in the Bahamas, I had a very vivid dream where I recalled a number of lives I previously lived on this planet. I was also shown the purpose of a few significant relationships I had up until that point, including the contracts we had signed before incarnating this time around. Contracts that were meant to cause growth through emotional pain. 2 It was incredibly eye-opening.

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Studio Update: Oct 2019

Some of you may know that the activities at Drager Farms have come under the scrutiny of the township and the Ag Preserve Board. The activities “not in alignment with a preserved farm” include Shakti Healing Therapies’ yoga and meditation classes, along with the Hipcamp field, and the farm-to-table dining events Nathan and I were trying to get off the ground (which btw… went NOWHERE).

I am unsure of what the future holds for the studio or anything else Nathan and I were trying to do. We were hopeful that by renovating the barn, it could provide some extra income to pave the way for Nathan to get out of UPS, quit driving 60 hours a week, AND have the farm to run on top of it all. But that reality seems to be just out of reach while my own work feels like it’s on hold again too.

We are applying for Event Barn status and will have to see where this process leads us and the offerings at Shakti Healing Therapies. I hope everything will be ironed out by early 2020.

Continue reading Studio Update: Oct 2019

Equinox +

September 22, 2019. The Fall Equinox. It feels like a pivotal moment in time, in my life. I want to change my way of being, the way I’m living, what I’m doing, and what I’m consuming on a day-to-day basis.

As summer moves into fall (and then inevitably into winter), I feel the need to pull back, to reflect, and become more introspective. Outwardly, I am also being somewhat forced to do this in ways I could not have imagined a few short months ago.

Nathan and I have been trying so hard to make it all work here at Drager Farms. Trying this thing and that thing and one thing after another, in the hopes that *some* thing will work. I sense that Nathan feels obligated to his grandfather and his great-grandfather to continue the family legacy, so I try to help in any way that I can – knowing full well that this farming life is not necessarily my path – but I want to support his happiness and his path. But god damn.. it is so SO hard.

I come from a family of farmers too, rooted in West Virginia. My grandmother always said, “Farming’s a hard life, but it’s a good life.” I hear her words so often lately because I now completely understand what she meant. And maybe now, in today’s economic and political times, her statement is 1,000x more true.

I had no idea that the government could tell you what you can and cannot do on a “privately owned” land. It seems like the more Nathan and I try to become independent entrepreneurs, living off the land in a sustainable (and hopefully exemplary) fashion, the more the ‘powers that be’ look over our shoulders and shake their fingers at us like, “Uh, uh, uh… We see you… Now you *know* that’s not what good children should do until WE say it’s ok.”

I just.. I don’t.. even. I don’t. know.

So I ask: Do you actually KNOW what it means to be a farmer today and why things are the way they are with GMO corn and soy everywhere you look and concentrated animal feeding operations as the status quo? Please get ready to dive in deep……………….

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Fire Walk with Me

Around 2004/05, shortly after I was introduced to meditation, I had quite a profound vision. On that particular evening, as I was listening to the guidance of my Kadampa Buddhist instructor, I floated out of the room and out of my body, where I met two “light beings”. These beings were formless orbs of pure light who seemed to be waiting there for this particular point in time and space to meet with me to give me a message that would change the course of my life.

These beings, who I still refer to as my “real parents” or my “Star Family“, carried me up above the Earth and showed me that we are all connected, All One. Every action performed – no matter how big or how small – affects everything on Earth and beyond.

They also filled me with a sense of love and acceptance that I had never felt in my entire life. They reminded me that this Love is All That Is.

And then there was fire. A Great Wall of Fire filled my vision and quickly brought me back to this reality in a most disturbing way. WTH?

After class, I tried making some sense of this vision with my teacher. He assured me that nothing I witnessed could have happened because nothing like that had ever happened to him. (?!?) So I left there feeling very confused and almost ashamed about my experience – the same feeling I had after my near-death experience. Go figure…

And so I tried to forget.

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Garlic, Depression, & Anxiety

Have you ever noticed that some foods touted as ‘superfoods’ aren’t so super for you? For me, garlic is one of those things. If I eat it accidentally or knowingly, I generally can’t sleep that night and I wake up the next day feeling groggy and grouchy. Raw garlic? Forget about it – instant panic attack. So what gives?

Interestingly, back in 2010 when I was going through the teacher training program at the Sivananda Yoga Ashram, we were told never to eat onions or garlic because they were ‘rajasic’ or excitatory which would affect our meditation.1 Cruciferous vegetables were also discouraged because of their gas-inducing qualities (which also affects meditation). Many of us were shocked and appalled at these recommendations, believing these foods had nothing but health benefits. Nevertheless, onions and garlic were never served at the ashram the entire 30 days I was there.

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My Favorite Self Care Ritual

I can’t remember exactly when I was introduced to Abhyanga, the Ayurvedic practice of massaging your own body with warm oil, but it quickly became part of my daily self care routine. As a person who seems perpetually Vata imbalanced, this simple act of self love calms my mind, soothes my body, and gives me a ‘time out’. This is definitely an Ayurvedic practice I recommend to EVERYONE!

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Trust Your Treads

Tonight I walked out to the barn to turn down the heat since an event I was supposed to hold the next day wasn’t going to happen. As I walked, I realized I was walking down our driveway with ease and without fear – without a flashlight in the dark pretty darn near the new moon – knowing it was covered in snow and ice in spots. Once I realized what I was doing, my truck-driving-farmer-fiancé’s voice came to me: “Trust Your Treads”.

Those simple words hold so much meaning, don’t they?

The first time he spoke them, he was driving quite fast through a snowstorm. I was nervous. And that’s what he said because he had years of experience “trusting his treads”.

I made it to the barn safe and sound because I didn’t really think about it. I was enjoying the crisp air, the clear starry sky, and the crunching of snow under my feet as the dog pranced along happily beside me. I was present, in the moment.

On the way back… a whole other story: I thought about it. I got nervous. The ‘what if’s’ got to me and I tensed up, losing my footing a couple of times.

It always amazes me how the mind can play tricks! So like my wise man says, you just gotta “TRUST YOUR TREADS”!

Let All of Your Actions Be in Praise to the Divine

With every breath you take, remember that you are here out of grace. Your human birth is a true and rare gift. The fact that you opened your eyes for another day on this crazy and awe-inspiring Earth: a miracle!

When you cook a meal, make love, go to work, become upset, talk with someone else… remember that you are manifesting lila, divine play. We create because we are made in God’s image. The divine needs us for his play. Therefore, there is no reason to become attached to any thought, experience or action because it is not you performing these things. It is God manifesting through you.

As an artist, you may have encountered a situation where you had a vision, a dream or some kind of tap on the shoulder about a piece of artwork you should create. You ignore it. Then months later, you see that exact same thing “you” thought of – only someone else did it! This is the divine making his will happen – with or without your cooperation!

All the gods and goddesses, the angels and the devas long to have the human experience. Can you challenge yourself to live for them and let them live through you? May you let your divine light shine! Namaste!