Today is day _x?x_ of the COVID-19 pandemic. I was swabbed today. And now 5-7 days till I get the answer. Am I positive or negative? If I’m positive, I’m happy that I have a milder case which may protect me in the future. And I will notify everyone possible that I’ve been in contact with over the last 14 days.
But I suppose the real reason I sit here is because of a small incident this morning. This incident led me to think about ‘vairagya‘ or dispassion towards things of the world and independence from ‘the pairs of opposites‘.
Continue reading Making Due with Less
I’ve been sleeping on a mat in the barn the last couple of nights and, physically, I am feeling better than I have in months. It reminds me of dreams and visions of other lives I lived here on this planet. Does my body remember how ‘things used to be’ and crave those days of austerities: living simply, not eating much, etc.? And when I don’t live this way, I literally become sick from too much food, too much comfort, too much sitting, too much sleep. JUST.TOO.MUCH. It seems I may not be alone in this either. 1
. . .
Flashback to February 2010
One night during the yoga teacher training course in the Bahamas, I had a very vivid dream where I recalled a number of lives I previously lived on this planet. I was also shown the purpose of a few significant relationships I had up until that point, including the contracts we had signed before incarnating this time around. Contracts that were meant to cause growth through emotional pain. 2 It was incredibly eye-opening.
Continue reading Past Lives & Cellular Memory
With every breath you take, remember that you are here out of grace. Your human birth is a true and rare gift. The fact that you opened your eyes for another day on this crazy and awe-inspiring Earth: a miracle!
When you cook a meal, make love, go to work, become upset, talk with someone else… remember that you are manifesting lila, divine play. We create because we are made in God’s image. The divine needs us for his play. Therefore, there is no reason to become attached to any thought, experience or action because it is not you performing these things. It is God manifesting through you.
As an artist, you may have encountered a situation where you had a vision, a dream or some kind of tap on the shoulder about a piece of artwork you should create. You ignore it. Then months later, you see that exact same thing “you” thought of – only someone else did it! This is the divine making his will happen – with or without your cooperation!
All the gods and goddesses, the angels and the devas long to have the human experience. Can you challenge yourself to live for them and let them live through you? May you let your divine light shine! Namaste!
I have to say that 2018 was one of the most difficult years I’ve had in some time. My depression and anxiety were at a level I haven’t experienced in over a decade!
And at every turn I was forced to ask, “Who Am I?” Who am I when I’m not being a ‘graphic designer’? Who am I without the identity of a ‘yoga instructor’? Who am I as I relate to my significant other and as an identity outside this relationship? Who am I as a mother? As a grandmother? As a friend? Who am I in relation to it All?
Continue reading Reflections on 2018
This is the third article in the series, “The 12 Healing Tools“. These articles outline the things that I have found most useful in my journey to overcome childhood trauma and abuse, drug addiction, and debilitating depression.
Once I got clean back in the mid-90s, I really didn’t know who I was or what I was going to do with my life. I grew up with an overbearing mother (to put it mildly), I had no self-esteem, spent years trying to lose myself in men and drugs, etc. etc. etc. It was a rough road for quite a number of years.
The guy that I was with at the time – we’ll call him Marty – who, incidentally met me during my active addiction and stayed with me during rehab and after, convinced me to sign up for Americorps. Honestly, I just wanted the pay out at the end to help pay off my student loans, so I agreed. During this time, Marty also gave me some other volunteer work making art with kids in some local low income housing projects. I spent a full year in Americorps, doing art with kids, making murals, sweeping streets, fixing windows, and basically just giving back to the community. Eventually Marty and I parted ways, but I have to give him credit for this cuz selfless service really changed my life and probably helped keep me clean too.
Continue reading Service to Others
This is the second article in the series, “The 12 Healing Tools“. These articles outline the things that I have found most useful in my journey to overcome childhood trauma and abuse, drug addiction, and debilitating depression.
By the mid-90s my drug days were coming to an end. I couldn’t handle the lifestyle. I was tired of chasing the white dragon every day. Tired of seeing my friends die. Tired of feeling like a total waste and hating myself for it. Just TIRED. Life was truly unmanageable as every waking hour was consumed by this substance. I wanted to finally be free from heroin and try to act and feel “normal”, though that was part of the reason why I started to use drugs in the first place – I always felt (and was told) I was ‘different’ and didn’t understand why.
Anyway… after several failed attempts at detox centers and 30-day rehabs, I was somehow admitted to Colonial House for a 90-day inpatient program.
Continue reading The 12 Steps
I write these words because I am 100% sure there are many more out there who have felt this way and/or are feeling this way right now. I want you to know that you are not alone. And there is a reason for everything that is happening in your life. Have faith, stay strong, keep seeking, and amazing things can happen.
As far back as I can remember, I felt like ‘reality’ wasn’t quite the way it seemed. And I especially knew that things were NOT the way those ‘grown ups’ in charge of me were telling me they were. It always felt like I was missing an important piece of the puzzle, like everybody was holding out on a key piece of information and I didn’t know why.
I remember things that my family tells me I shouldn’t remember – I was too young to remember they say. I feel like I came into life with a lot of memories. Memories that most of us want to forget when we embody, that blissful state of amnesia we choose to operate from most of our lives. But some of us ask to remember, NEED to remember – so we can do the work we came here to do. I am one of Those.
Continue reading A Burning Desire to Know the Truth of Reality
On this day when many have given their actual lives to fulfill their karmic destinies [read about Arjuna’s dharma as a warrior in the Bhagavad Gita], I decided I should start blogging about the things that have helped me overcome (or at least manage) some of the cards I’ve been dealt in this lifetime — as part of my service to humanity. Perhaps this small step will push me into writing that book so many astrologers and psychics have told me I’m destined to write! Lol
I will outline the ways that have helped me here and go into each of them in more detail in the following weeks. I will list them in the order in which they appeared in my life:
- A Burning Desire to Know the Truth of Reality
- The 12 Steps (or “Street Vedanta”)
- Service to Others
- Pranayama / Breathwork
- Self Love
- Energy Healing
- Human Design
STAY TUNED! This could be good… ;-P
We are all sent here to EXPERIENCE, to make the Divine Consciousness more whole and complete. We can help to answer the questions: What does it mean to be human? What are these emotions? What does this version of consciousness feel like? What is Love and can it really conquer all?
As humans, we forget The Experience, the Divine Play. We get wrapped up in it. We identify with our role and forget that we are all merely actors, cells in the right hand of God.
How do we get back to our Essence?
Forget attachment to the results of ANYTHING. Let go of the EGO. Simply play your part as one piece of the greater whole. Experience and savor every moment, every emotion, every thought, every THING — “good” or “bad”. Want money? OK. Go for it, but don’t make it your sole purpose. Want a family? Experience the joy of that sacred community but don’t let it own you. In all things material, work for the greater good and keep in mind that moderation is the key. And if the mind experiences suffering, then attachment and ego are involved. So check yo’self before you wreck yo’self.
We are the wave and the ocean. Remember.
It seems that life is changing so quickly these days. From the predicted amount of snow to the actual amount that falls to the ground, it’s hard to know which way is up some days. They say this is the way it will be in these times and only those that can stand on their heads will be able to see which way is up. The Gita says that life is like a public inn, people come and people go and there is no need for attachment. And I agree. But these little gems of wisdom can be difficult to accept at times, for sure.
“One does not become enlightened by imagining beings of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” — Carl Jung
Continue reading Changes